Leadership is like a manicure, full of chipped edges, unexpected shine, and lessons revealed in every layer of polish. While a nail salon might seem removed from educational leadership, this spin is about the surprising connections between what happens when the polish comes off and on. Straight up, I will be honest and admit to enjoying a good mani-pedi, it is a guilty pleasure to be pampered and to enjoy the new colours of the season. Nail salons are a little like an everyday anthology of fascinating moments in motion with a little style spotting on the side. They are neat microcosms of communities - diverse, expressive, and full of stories to make you think. After spending more time in nail salons than I probably should admit, I’ve come to appreciate the unexpected that unfolds once you're in the chair, as people talk, stories flow, and you get a front-row seat to watching life in real time. Leadership can be like this, if you allow yourself the slow moments to pause, pamper yourself and take it all in.
At this hectic time in the new school year the words leadership and pampering might seem obtuse but stick with me as I try to reset and position curiousity, care, and feminine leadership lessons from the nail salon. Though some may challenge the gendered framing of mani-pedis, I’m also using this Sunday morning reflection to centre women in leadership as a powerful lens for examining intellectual well-being and cognitive capacity in the workforce.
Cognitive capacity is the mental ability to reason, remember and solve problems. It includes decision making, attention control, memory recall and the capacity to adapt to new challenges. Research on the science of women in leadership emphasizes the unique capacity that females have to inspire, collaborate, and blend characteristic male leadership qualities, such as decisiveness and toughness, with the female qualities of warmth and inclusiveness.
In the spirit of holding on to relaxing moments in the nail salon, I'm going to use this analogy to explore the realities of women in leadership and how female leaders move between worlds with strength, agility and awareness. Inspired by the elements of a good mani-pedi, the buffer, the polish and the top coat, this breakdown invites reflection on the complexities that many women in leadership navigate and rise above.
The Buffer - Presence. The strongest female leaders show up as they are, sometimes a little chipped, tired but always hopeful. With the concept of work-life balance teetering, women in leadership have a tenacity to keep it real. For many women, whether they’re parenting toddlers or teenagers, balancing child care and employment creates an intensely demanding season of life. Often, after navigating a tough school or daycare drop-off, their ability to emotionally shift gears and extend compassion to others, despite their own realities, is nothing short of remarkable.
In the salon buffering is necessary to create a smooth nail surface. Buffers are soft, padded files with various levels of grit, like sandpaper for nails, to remove imperfections. Female leaders have to swiftly smooth out and buffer their own emotional landscape to be relationally ready and present for their colleagues and community. With grit and grace, they buffer to create calm by feeling deeply and attuning to others' emotions to colour situations with optimism, compassion and strength.
The Polish - Preparation. In female leadership, the polish represents the deep prep work that goes into successfully reading the room, anticipating needs and knowing the data. Women prepare for not just the task at hand but how they will be perceived while engaging in the work. From the selection of outfits to the crafting of language, women have to prepare thoughtfully for the shape of their day. Polish is about showing up with intention, having your homework done while realizing that scrutiny often accompanies gendered expectations. Without falling into overgeneralization, I want to be respectful in positioning and honouring the unique attributes of female leaders in this spin. Women in leadership must be mindful of their executive presence - how they move, dress, speak and hold space. Just as important is knowing who you are, where you come from and what you are working towards. As a mother of two teenage daughters, I think a lot about the bombardment of social media influences, societal expectations and pop culture that impacts perspectives on the female appearance. Mass media sells a distorted image of womanhood, making it essential to prepare the next generation of female leaders to navigate these pressures with clarity, confidence, and critical thought.
The Top Coat - Protection
The top coat in the nail salon is the final layer, it is clear and protective, and it's job is to enhance the polish and make it last longer. Organizations need to ensure the top coat is in place to sustain cultures where woman leaders not just survive but thrive. My school district hosts an annual women in leadership event for our female school principals, vice principals, managers and district leaders. Each spring we gather for an evening of professional learning, inspiration and community. This past spring Lisa Southern shared her experiences as an experienced, successful female leader as she encouraged us to redefine female leadership by;
- reframing risk,
- reworking our ideas of conflict and resolution,
- revisiting our relationships,
- recognizing our vulnerabilities,
- rewarding ourselves,
- reinforcing our values.
While women in leadership are often recognized for their so-called soft skills and delicate willingness to share vulnerability, their ability to carry heavy loads and navigate hard edges should never be underestimated. The classic research of Nel Noddings alongside of current authors Brene Brown and Mel Robbins create interesting paradigms for female leaders to reconsider as they code switch between "pleaser to leader" and "from prioritizing being liked to being respected" (Southern, 2025). The fragility of feminine leadership is a fallacy that requires continued redefining. Feminine leadership isn't soft, it is relational, strategic and has a top coat that is powerfully resilient.
To my male colleagues and readers, I do want to recognize and emphasize that feminine leadership is more about the style and the approach, than gender. While the lived realities of women in leadership cannot be overstated, it is equally important to recognize the many caring attributes many men bring to leadership. I am fortunate to work on a senior leadership team that’s balanced across gender, experience, and perspective, where safety, openness, and mutual respect empower us to challenge each other, support one another, and do the hard work together. I don't take this for granted.
As I look down at my needing new polish nails tapping away at the keyboard, I want to wrap this spin up by admitting how fun it was fun to write and how refreshing it felt to tap into my femininity as a woman in leadership. Unapologetically owning who we are as leaders is core to the expansive, transformative thinking we need in our world today. Exploring your leadership buffers, polish and top coat presses leaders to think about the real time tension between what appears to be, what we perceive and what we overlook. Women in leadership have a unique power to blend worlds painting possibility, change and hope with an ethos rooted in care, compassion and commitment. Be brave enough to examine your own layers, because what lies beneath the polish matters just as much as the sparkle and shine we bring to the table.